Saturday Pony Rides!

We took the kids to see Kung Fu Panda 2 on Saturday! David and I made the plans Friday afternoon and instead of telling the kids what we were doing we left it at a "Super fun Surprise!" They all started to scream with excitement when we pulled into the Theater. I dropped David and the kids off at the door to get our tickets and seats and then ran to the grocery store to get some snacks to sneak in with my purse...evil I know! They were all great and happy during the movie! When it was over Joey said, "Okay mom what is our surprise?" I just laughed and said, "The Movie was your surprise." He started to whine a bit and said, "That's not a surprise...that's a movie...I want a surprise." I think I have spoiled turds! After the movie we needed to take the boat to the boat shop! I planned on taking a nap with the kids at this time, since I had been up since 5am! (after David's dumb phone started beeping, I gave up and went grocery shopping and to the gym, bought some sod from a guy a few houses down and transported it back and laid it...I was tired!) but David wanted us to ride along! A little grouchily I gave in and we got the boat all hooked up and headed down the road! Again, kids screaming with excitement...they thought we were going to the lake...so we played along! "Mom we didn't get our swimming suits." I told them I already packed them. "But mom, we don't have a lunch." "Oh I already made a super yummy lunch!" "But, mom, what about our boogie boards and our life jackets and our fishing poles and our towels?" The list went on and on! I assured them that it was all packed and we are going to have sooooo much fun at the lake, we even went on to tell them that we were going to have pony rides ice-cream and cotton candy! Their eyes were all so BIG! THEN....we pulled into the boat shop....and they all started crying...and David and I started laughing! Are we the meanest parents or what? We got the boat dropped off and they were all pretty ticked so David and I decided that we were going to pretend we are at the lake...we started doing hand motions of swimming, fishing, jumping off the boat and riding our ponies! Of course the actions were limited because we were driving in the car...but we (David and I) were laughing so hard and the kids...well, lets just say if looks could kill...David and I would be dead! We smoothed things over with a slushy at Sonics happy hour! We headed home, ate, took naps and got up to work on yards! David requested Hawaiian Hay Stacks, and I made way too much, so I called the Missionaries to come over and grab some dinner! What a fun full Saturday!

Aunt Brenda was taking Joey on a Razr ride. He kept asking her questions and because of the noise she would just nod and laugh...until he wouldn't stop ASKING...So Aunt Brenda pulled over and said, "what Joey?" "Um Um, aunt Brenda, when's the last time you pooped your pants?" Then he busted up laughing and I think she did too!

I think sometimes Tia gets a little fed up with her brothers. She met David at the bottom of the stairs and said, "DAD, the boys keep making me hit them." Chances are they deserved it!

I had Ivy up on the counter getting her dressed for bed. Yes, I know its an odd place to dress a toddler but I was in the midsts of baking cookings and cleaning up. She was there and I figured what the heck! I propped her up and pulled off her clothes and just as I was putting on her pajamas, Mac walked by and said, "Wooh wooh Ivy" She quickly grabbed her shirt to cover herself and said, "No see my wooh woohs MAAAAAA!"

I flew home from Arizona by myself with all 8 kids! We had landed in Philly and were on our way to pick up our bags. All 8 kids were waiting for the elevator to take us down....I did a quick count and only 7, I went into a slight panic mode and figured out who was missing. "DEXTER!!!!" I looked around the corner and he was watching us, waiting to run his fastest along the moving walking path. Just as soon as we got in the elevator doors closed with no witnesses I started yelling at him (mostly panic yelling I thought I lost you mixed with you have to obey and stick together) The 7 others just watched in awe....Then just as the doors were about to open I closed my mouth and looked forward as if nothing had happened when Toby with his eyes wide open, his eyebrows lifted, and his thumb pointing to me said, "Yah, what she said!" I just busted up laughing! I love it when my kids make light of my yelling!

We were fishing in this little creek and Tia and I were walking in the water towards the boys. There was a slightly deeper part of the creek and Tia said, "We better not go over there or we will get trenched." I then replied, "Oh really, and what do you think trenched means." She cocked her head and with a smile said, "You know like super wet...TRENCHED means the same thing." "Oh, what a dummy I can be sometimes!"

Our good friends Karla and Collin got baptized a few weeks ago. Karla is Puerto Rican and speaks spanish fluently. I never realized that you could speak spanish and NOT be mexican! So that is the running joke between us! Anything she does I reply, "Oh because you're Mexican!" David had the privilege of baptizing them and did her prayer in Spanish. Later that day the kids were talking amongst themselves and I heard Mac say to Tia, "I did NOT know that dad could speak MEXICAN." Toby got super defensive and with a gruff said, "That wasn't Mexican that was JAPANESE dummy!"

My new favorite thing to do while I fold laundry is watch HGTV. It is something my kids can watch and surprisingly are more interested than I thought they would be. There was a mound of laundry sitting infront of me when Tia walked in and said, "MOM!!! Can we watch House G DV?" I just busted up laughing because I knew exactly what she was talking about!

We had just finished a Dance Party in the family room in attempts to tire the kids out before bed. They were all "Soooo HOT" so instead of letting them change out of their warm jammies I told them to stand outside on the porch to cool off. They were only out a few minutes when Joey came in tattling that Mac said "boobies and balls." I don't think I have ever heard Dexter laugh so hard saying "Boobies...its such a funny word mom!" I have to admit I was having a hard time lecturing about our body parts that are private and we don't talk or laugh about! Tia walked out of the room and said with an ugh, "my brothers are sooooo inappropriate!"

I love the "Sunday" stories about my children that I get from the leaders after primary. Apparently in the Hall today while the kids were going to class Mason was telling a girl his age, "Ellie you are so H...O...T! (spelling it out) She was all smiles! When we got into the car I asked Mason what he was saying to Ellie..."I said she was so H...O...T!" "Mason, do you even know what H...O...T spells?" "Yah, it spells HOT.." He added the look of your so stupid mom. "Do you know what it means when you say a girl is so HOT?" Again, the look of how stupid could you get mom...Then replied with this, "YAH, it means HOT like the sun!" Oh dear, I have a lot of work to do on this kid!!

I was getting after Toby at the dinner table and Mac turns his head to the side, raises his eyebrows and in a soft, sarcastic voice, says, "AWKWARD!"

I was changing the baby when Toby walked up and started giggling? I just looked at him and continued changing her diaper when he got down close to my ear and said, "Mom the baby has a little willy!" I just started laughing! He said, "really mom, it is hiding in there!"

I was talking to the baby and said, "did you just poop in your pants?" Mac happened to be walking by at the time and said, "Last time I checked her, she had a FUUUUl load!"

I was cooking dinner with the kids at my feet when Mac sneezed and Tia sincerely said, "KA Bless you!" I looked at her and asked her what she said because I wasn't quite sure I heard her right. "What did you say?" "I said Ka Bless you to Mac because he sneezed!" I am assuming she heard "God Bless you" somewhere but in her mind made the switch to "Ka bless you!" Which I am totally fine with!

The boys all got a bow and arrow for Christmas. Toby was at the dinner table telling everybody his hopes and dreams! "Ya, me and dad are going to go shoot some deers with our bows and arrows so we can eat CHICKEN for dinner!"

We were all loaded up to go to this Halloween Party. The baby was crying and Tia whom was dressed up in her princess costume was sitting by her. She was petting her arm saying, "Its okay, the princess is sitting by you, the pretty, pretty, pretty princess is sitting by you, don't cry!"

I was on my way to drop Toby and Mac off at their preschool for their Halloween Party, but I had to make one quick stop at the Grocery Store for some cookies that I signed up to bring. (always ahead of the game eh!!) Toby said, "mom did you use your brain to remember our party?" "I did...I have the smartest brain to remember all the things you kids have to do!" "No, I think Dad has the smartest brain!" "Ummmm, I don't think so, mom is way smarter than Dad." And all I got was a giggle and a "Nooooo dad is!"

I was getting all the kids ready for school and Toby said, "Mom can you please stop talking its gonna make me throw up!" Okay, so I hadn't gotten a chance to brush my teeth yet...I have to get 7 kids dressed and ready for school before myself!

My skin had a couple break out days! I was getting all the kids ready for school and Toby had this concerned look on his face and said, "Mom, why do you have all those mosquito bites on your face?" Kids are mean!

We were sitting around the dinner table when Dexter took alot more seconds than Tia would have liked. Tia said, "you are being selfish Dexter." He looked at her and said, "what does selfish mean?" Tia replied with, "You know when you have a lot of money and you don't share it." Dexter just gave her a look as if she had no idea what she was talking about and said, "No...that means you are rich, Tia!"

We are trying to get the baby to fall asleep on her own in her crib! We have had to do a little rearranging of rooms and Dexter now has his own room up stairs next to Tia's. I usually let Dexter and Tia read books until I go around and tuck in and turn lights out! We put the baby in her crib and Tia came downstairs to inform me that she was crying! Dexter was right behind her saying, "YA, and she keeps waking me up!" Dexter who is a night owl and rarely goes to bed before 11pm...I just looked at him and said, "I am sure you were fast asleep!"

I told the kids to do something and Joey with air quotes said, "That is LAME mom!"

Dexter gets a little angry when I laugh at him when he gets in trouble! You know the lecture of what he did wrong, then the punishment comes, then the obnoxious laugh while he is being punished! Isn't that what all moms do? I can't remember what exactly he did, but he was punished and then I started laughing. He just gave me a dirty look and said, "You're a dumb face mom!" Which only made me laugh harder!

We were on our way to Grandma Bryce's house and Mac said, "We can just follow the creek to her house!" We just looked at him and tried to figure out what he was saying. The David said, "I think he means the canal!" There is a dirty yucky canal that runs right past Grandma Bryce's house!

Our parents live about 4 miles from each other and in those 4 miles we pass the Temple, some cotton fields and several horse corrals. During our visit to AZ we made that drive several times a day! The kids would often sing I love to see the Temple on the drive. Toby spiced it up one day and sang, "I want to ride the horsies someday" To the tune of I love to see the Temple!

Tia gets a little confused when she talks and I'm pretty sure she gets it from me! When we told the kids we were getting a baby and showed them the picture of their new sister she said, "Who's baby used to be that?" We just looked at her and laughed!

Toby has been a little Emotional lately...He was sent to him room and on his way out he screamed "HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT TO ME!" He's so not going to be a fun teenager!

David was studying and asked the kids to grab some lotion and rub his feet! I totally jumped on this train and asked who wanted to rub mine! Tia said she would rub mine...and Joey went for David's! Tia the best foot rubber and Joey who doesn't have the hand strength to squeeze the lotion bottle! David kept saying, "This was my idea...and you took the best foot rubber!" They traded spots and pretty soon it was just Joey at our feet! I kept hearing him say something over and over and over...until David said, "look!" I looked down and Joey had a hand on each one of my feet and his feet stretched across the floor over on David's feet saying, "Look I can rub all of them!" He's so cute!

I was cooking dinner and Dexter really wanted to help me cut the onions. I tried to talk him out of it and explained that it would hurt his eyes. He grabbed a plastic knife and started cutting! He looked up and said, "Mom these onions made my eyes drippery!"

It was nap time and if you know me at all it is a precious time of the day that doesn't get passed on very often! I had already been up to Toby and Mac's room twice and told them the next time I had to come up they were gonna get a whoopin! Well, the third time came shortly after and I went up and whooped two little bottoms! I closed the door and stood outside to listen....Toby said, "Mom's a big JERK huh Mac!" "Ya she is." "Mac, Dad is nice and Mom is mean." "Ya, mom is mean and dad is nice." "NOOOO MAC, I said MOM IS MEAN AND DAD IS NICE." "That is what I said Toby." I didn't go back in...I just giggled at their conversation!

Joey was in the kitchen helping me make dinner, which is odd since there are usually 6 kids fighting over the 1 stool eager to help. He was telling me about what he was going to buy with his "future" dollar when he loses his "future" teeth, then it got silent for a couple of seconds. He broke that beauty when he said, "Mom can we sell Toby?" "Oh Joey, if only it were that easy!" "So we can? Can we sell Dexter too because he always hits me and Toby always bites me and they are big bullies and and and and..." I just started laughing and told him that he would be so sad if we didn't have Toby and Dexter. He was sure he wouldn't be sad!

Mac came in with a skateboard that Mason had been rubbing rocks on and said, "Mom Mason made this smell like farts!" I look at him and he looks at me and said, "I mean fire and sparks!"

We were getting dinner ready and the kids were in a bit of trouble form earlier in the day. David was getting drinks ready...WATER...which isn't our usual crystal light! Mason asked, "Dad, why are we having water for dinner?" David replied, "Because poison is illegal!"

We were having hamburgers for dinner and David had the Jalapenos out on the table. Mac started to help himself to them and David said, "Mac those are too hot for you." With a smarty pants smile he said, "I LIKE HOT!" We finished dinner and noticed that Mac's Jalapenos was still siting on his plate just as he breezed by the kitchen! "Mac come here...you didn't eat your Jalapenos." As cocky as a 5 year old can strut his stuff, he walked over to his plate and chomped away on his Jalapenos and left the room. Me and David just looked at each other in awe! About 10 seconds later he walked back in fanned his mouth and said, "HOT..." and ran up to the bathroom to get a drink!

We were all at the Water Park and David had to get home to study for his boards. I was going to stay a while longer, but the kids were so hungry! I handed out some granola bars, fruit snacks and bananas! Joey thought he needed more food so I told him he could go home with Dad and eat! Well, we stayed a bit longer...so long that my friend Camille that we were meeting brought us all some PB&J sandwiches! The kids were playing Tag when Toby got tagged a little hard and ate the cement. 30 minutes later and a some EMT Papers signed we were on our way! I called David and was reminded that he was helping some people in our ward load their moving truck...and he had Joey! I told the kids we were headed over to the Walkers to pick Joey up. The kids all started asking questions....why what when were and why again! I told them they were moving to Las Vegas. Dexter said, "Mom is LOST VEGAS where you move to Lose all your stuffs?" I started laughing and said, "Yes!" I could see his face in my mirror and he was seriously disgusted when he said, "I don't know why they want to move there if they are going to lose all their stuffs!"

Tia seems to get words mixed up and I usually let it slide because she's so darn cute when she does it. The other day we were talking about Nail polish. She looked at her toes that she had painted a couple of days prior and said, "Mom I don't know why my Poll Nelish doesn't stay on my toes that good!"

David was getting ready for church and fixing his light purple tie when Mac walked in and in a sincere voice said, "Dad, I like your girl tie."

I had put all the kids down to bed and David and I were well over an hour into our movie. I thought all were sleeping sound when the three oldest boys all came up tattling on one another! I sarcastically said, "That is it, Mason get me a shoe so I can spank all your bottoms!" Mason with worry, is looking at the mound of shoes sitting by the shoe bucket, he shuffles them around until finally coming back over to me with Toby's little rubber crock! I just busted up laughing and said, "get me a bigger one!" I have to admit, he is getting smarter!

We were all in the car including Annie and Tyrone when the discussion of DC came up! I was telling them how much fun it is and all there is to do. Tia piped in, "Ya, we have been to Washington DC...we got to ride the big boat, the fast trains and see the Statue of Liberty!" We all just started laughing and I explained to her that the Statue of Liberty was in New York City, along with the big boat and fast trains!

It had already been a grueling 2 hours as we moved 2 dump trucks loads of dirt around our yard in attempt to even it out...and we still had at least another hour to go. I was sitting, resting on the trampoline when Dexter came behind me and started to jump! "Dexter, stop jumping, I'm trying to rest." In a very know it all voice he said, "Mom, trampolines are for jumping, if you don't like it, then find somewhere else to sit and rest." I gave him the I'm too tired to yell at you, but you better get off this trampoline this second stare! He took one last big jump off the side and ran off!

We went up to York to help our Friends Annie and Tyrone move into their new home! I can honestly say, my kids were awesome helpers and didn't stop until it was all unloaded! I was in the truck handing boxed and bags out. Somehow Mac ended up in there with me and said, "Whoah....look at this bigass bag." I looked at David to see if he heard what I heard! Then I asked Mac to confirm what he just said...Sure enough, he was very concerned about this "bigass" bag! I was holding back the laughter while David and I attempted to blamed each other...then Tyrone walked by and we dumped it on him! I really have no idea where he picked that phrase up from! :)

David was out on the field with the kids at their T-ball game and a ball went right through Tia's legs. David said, "Tia, put your glove on the ground..." Tia took her glove off and tossed it to the side! David said, " no...put it back on your hand and hold it down on the ground like this...so the ball won't go through your legs!" He got a very I'm such a dork, "Ohhhhhh!" from her!

I was cleaning the boys room and was getting so mad that they took all the buckets out of the closet. I took all their backpacks away and started sorting toys! Dexter's was next and I am never surprised when my good pair of scissors, magic marker, or credit cards happen to be in it. He was watching me pull things out and started to get a little nervous. THEN...I pulled out David's tape measure. He screamed, "WHAT...HOW DID DAD'S TAPE MEASURERERER GET IN THERE?" I just rolled my eyes and said, "Really?" He just shrugged his shoulders, shook his head and said, "I wonder who put that in there." I find it harder and harder for me to get mad at him when he is so animated in pleading his case!

Joey is my tease...and he teases constantly! The other day at the dinner table he was mocking Mason and kept repeating in a silly voice, "HI MY NAME IS MADON BRYCE...MADON...MADON...MADON BRYCE!" Mason would get mad and say, "Its MASSSSSSON!" Joey would just laugh and say, "Hi MADON!" I have to admit I was laughing pretty hard!

I had a few onions bulbs sitting on the picnic table waiting to be planted and Dexter was holding them up to his eyes...he yelled, "Dad these onions are making my eyes REALLY drippery!"

I was in Relief Society at church and my friend Camille which happens to be one of the counselors in the Primary brought Tia to me and said, "Tia just came up to me and asked if she could have a pair of scissors to cut out the gum that had fallen in her hair before her mom saw!" I started to laugh an uncomfortable laugh and said, "am I that scary of a mom!" Guess so! I gave Tia a hug and told her it wasn't a bid deal and that we would use some super magical peanut butter to get it out!

It was possibly a little past dinner time and I was rummaging through cupboards wondering what fabulous meal to make for the kids! Tia was at my side and asked, "mom are you getting ready to make dinner?" "YES...and it is going to be so yummy!" She paused for a few seconds and then in a wondering voice asked, "Mom can we have real food tonight?" "What are you talking about...we always have real food!" She put her shoulders up and said, "You know like NOT Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiched and NOT cereal!" I just busted up laughing and said, "how about grilled cheese sandwiches?" She got so excited with my answer...problem solved!

I am totally lame at dinner when David is at work...and he has been at work quite a bit during dinner time, so yes, I "thought" my kids didn't care what they ate...they all seemed excited to have cereal and peanut butter and jelly for dinner. Guess, I should move onto more elaborate meals like mac and cheese and spaghetti!

Truth be told...I put my kids up to TV when I need a shower...YES, this even includes Sundays! It is a pretty good babysitter and keeps the windows from getting broken, the fridge cold, and food cupboards closed! David is home in the morning this week, so I told the kids "NO TV FOR THE WEEK" I got Dexter off to School and was making David some lunch to take to work. Mac was at my feet asking to watch TV. I repeated, "no tv for the week!" He just looked and me and said in disgust, "What are we supposed to do....just walk around all morning?" "Yes, just walk around all morning!" Soon Toby and Mac were wrestling on the kitchen floor, laughing and screaming! With a smile David asked, "are you sure you don't want them to watch TV this week?"

Oh man, its gonna be a loooong week!

Dexter is my story teller! He is so full of enthusiasm and LOUD when he has anything to say! I usually have to sort out what he said happened and what really happened!

We were riding home from church and Dexter said, "Hey mom I tooted in my class and my friend said, 'eeeeew what is that terrible STENCH?' and I said, that terrible STENCH was me because I tooted and it stunked really really bad!" He was laughing so hard and of course all the kids had their comments! Truth is, he has been banned from tooting by me because he smells so bad...oh his poor teacher in that little classroom!

We were all outside cleaning up the yard...okay so it started out as all the kids helping us but ended up with just David and I working until....The kids come running around the corner screaming, "Toby pooped his pants...Toby has poop on him...Eeeew..." I'm thinking, great that is all we need now! Well, Toby wanders around the corner with his pants around his ankles crying and yes...poop stretched from you know where, to his ankles! "Toby why did you poop your pants?" He replied with a very sad, "I was dust trying to go pee and then poop started to come out..." He was very broken up about it and all I could do is laugh a little...so I didn't cry too! Our poor neighbors that watch us from their windows...what they must think!

I took Toby in and got him showered and David did damage control outside. David said, "You know if I had my list of things that I was going to have to do today, it would not have been picking up kids' poop off the lawn!" Our kids are gross!

All 6 kids are signed up for Tball and all on the same team! I bought them all gloves and we were playing catch outside. I had to run in and start lunch and David continued the fun. Dexter missed the ball a couple of times and said, "Dad, I think the ball is afraid of my glove!" David said, "looks that way doesn't it!"

I was cooking dinner and Mason was begging to cut the onion. I repeatedly told him, "no, they will burn your eyes and you will start to cry." The begging continued. I wasn't really worried about the onions burning his eyes as much as I was just not ready to let him use a sharp knife! I finished cutting up the onions and I was almost it tears...they were really strong! He grabbed a piece of the peel and placed it over his nose right up to his eyes and said, "See mom, it doesn't hurt my eyes cause I have super special eyes!" I told him how neat that was and that he should keep that onion resting on his nose a little longer! It was seconds later he was hollering, "my eyes are burning...my eyes are burning!" With my back to him, all he could see is my shoulders shaking! One day they will get smarter right?

We were sitting at the table getting ready to eat dinner! It was a rare occasion to have David with us! The kids were fighting over who got to sit by dad! Dexter and Toby won, and I'm sure there wasn't crying or biting involved! Dexter even went as far as to CALL to pour dad's soda in his cup of ice. David distracted by all the commotion opened his can and poured his soda in. Dexter screamed, "HEY I WAS GOING TO DO THAT DAD!" David said, "Sorry Dexter..." Dexter looked down at his plate and whispered, "dumb dad." David and I both started to laugh quietly, then David reached over and gave an empty can to Dexter and said, "I think there is some more in there to put in my cup." Dexter got excited and started shaking the empty can vigorously in David's cup. Not a single drop came out and Dexter said, "Hey its all gone....your still dumb dad!" And then Dinner started!

So it begins...

I was at McDonald's letting my children run around and get some energy out when a mom from Dexter's School walked in. She is a larger woman with the bust to match. She bent over and with her shirt hanging down and her girls hanging out started a conversation with me. I can push past what is in my face and visit. Mason walked up to ask me a question but stopped in mid sentence. It was then that I notice his eyes fixed on a loose hanging shirt and what wasn't being covered up. "MASON!" I said in a sorta abrupt way! He jumped about 2 feet off the ground. I giggled a little bit inside! Later after we left we had a long talk about modesty and how we need to respect girls even if they clothes are falling off and look away. I told David and of course his comment was, "That a boy!" I am surrounded by pigs!

The other day David was at work and he got asked by another Dr. how he was going to pay for 6 kids' college? He just laughed and said, "College? How about a lifetime supply of helmets, that is what I'm really going to need!"

When my mom was in town for the week she brought a huge suitcase of dinosaurs! One day when all the kids were out of the house she went around to the back yard and hit them throughout the yard! The kids came home, but she wasn't home yet! They kept bringing in the dinosaurs to David and he had not a clue where they were getting them! When my mom got home the kids burst into "Grandma we have dinosaurs all over in our back yard!" My mom said, "oh my who do you think could have put them there?" Tia said, "It was probably the Easter Bunny!" My mom just laughed and admitted it was her!

It has been over a week and the kids are still bringing in dinosaurs! Tia said, "Grandma is so magical that she could hide all those Dinosaurs!" Sure miss you Grandma!

Joey got mad at David and started to pout! David egged him on of course and Joey walked by and said, "you a bully dad." David could not help himself and kept going! Joey walked over and said, "You make me crowning!" With a WHAT look David said, "What is crowning?" "Its like this..." and he put his two fingers in the corners of his mouth and pulls his lips down. David and I just started laughing so hard, "You mean frowning? Or crying and frowning at the same time!" Joey stood his ground and insisted it was crowning! Oh he is a stubborn one!

I have been pretty hard on the kids with potty words lately...you know, like, butt, fart, stupid, the really harsh ones...oh and lying! I started out with vinegar, but Toby started a real liking to it, so I moved onto a dab of hot sauce, until they started loving that and I am currently on soap. The other night Mac said a potty word and I said, "Oh lets wash those potty words out with some soap!" He started to whine a bit! I put some soap on my finger and started to sing a little song, "wash those potty words out....washa washa wash those potty words out!" It's a catchy tune I admit! Mac stepped a couple steps away and smacked his lips and said, "Hummm, its not that bad!" Not exactly the reaction I was expecting, but the night continued. It was a couple hours later and Dexter had told a lie! I told him to come get some soap! I put a little dab on my finger tip and started singing my song! Dexter smiled and said, "YUMMMY that taste like candy canes!" I got some candy cane soap from my VT partner for Christmas! Guess it is time for a new kind soap!

Later that week I switched to the Orange AJAX...Same reaction from the kids! "Taste good, not that bad, Yum, taste good like orange!" I remember getting soap for saying potty words when I was little and it was NOT good! Guess they make everything better these days!

We were headed out the door to run errands and our first was to drop Dexter off at Preschool. I commented on them and how good they were at listening to me so we wouldn't be late. Toby said, "since we were good can we have some gum?" I'm not sure they were THAT good, but I gave them all a piece. I then put the remainder of the pack on the entry table in plain site. I did this on purpose to see if Dexter has grown any from stealing treats and stashing them for later! The day went on into the evening and I noticed that the pack of gum had disappeared. I asked Dexter where the pack of gum was. HE told me over and over, "I didn't take it mom." I told him over and over, "I'm pretty sure you did Dexter!" I told Tia to go check under his pillow which he followed right behind her. She came up with some wrappers...but not the same gum wrappers that that certain kind of gum came from! "Dexter I know you took it...just hand it over and you will be in less trouble!" With no response I motioned to David and said, "Lets go find us some gum!" We lifted his bed, his sheets, his pillow. Stripped his pillowcase and his backpack clean and NO GUM! I knew he took it...I just knew it, but I had no proof...UNTIL I asked David to lift up Mason's bed. Of course Dexter was in the middle of everything and I could hardly get around him at times. David went to pick up the bed and in the corner was a crumbled pack of empty gum. But, there was no gum inside. I counted how many pieces were gone, a total of 8. "looks like you get 8 spoonfuls of vinegar for lying and stealing my gum. He had a sorta look of panic in his eyes. Then he opened up his hands and there were 6 sweaty pieces of gum. Some how in between Tia coming back up with wrappers he got the gum out of its pop-package and hid them in between Mason's bed and box spring. Then when David lifted the bed up, he snagged them from his hiding place! I just looked at him and all the trouble he went to to hide his gum and the evidence and said, "well, you are still missing 2 pieces of gum...so that is 2 spoonfuls of vinegar!" The tears just started coming down!

After many "I'm starvings" from my children I got up and started making a mean pot of Mac n cheese with little sausages! Mac has been sick and was playing playdough while the others were outside riding bikes. They trickled in one by one...with complaints of starving but were soon distracted with the playdough! I found myself looking for requested toys and unclogging ones from the last time they played playdough. Dexter came up with a "soaker" toy that needed to be unclogged and I said, "Dexter, do you want me to fix toys or fix dinner?" He gave me a duh look and said, "fix the toys mom!" He was my main starver! I guess instead of sending food to China we should just send playdough...that should cure world hunger!

I was sweeping up Tia's room and Mason commented on what a good job I was doing. Tia piped in and said, "that is because she is AAAAMMMMAAAZZZZZIIIINNNNGGGG!" Mason then replied with, "That is CORRECT Tia mom IS AAAAMMMAAAZZZZIIIINNNGGG!" I am pretty sure they got the sarcastic AAAAAMMMMMAAAAZZZZIIIINNNNGGGGG from me!

It was a special day and the kids all earned a bubble bath with the JETS! I started the water for the little boys and told them when it got fuller we would turn on the jets. A couple minutes passed and I heard the motors running and Dexter yelling in between giggles..."FIRE IN THE HOLE...FIRE IN THE HOLE!" I ran in to the jets pointed straight up and spraying water everywhere! Good thing the glass doors were closed!

Joey was sitting by me drawing a picture. His picture consisted of Me and Him and a PB&J sandwich. He was explaining to me how he got into the jelly and made a mess and I got mad at him and tried to spank his bottom and he "runned away!" We were both having a laugh at it and I told him to draw another picture. He put his pencil up to his chin and started tapping it with a "ummmm." He pointed to David and said, "X" I busted up laughing and said, "did you really just X dad?" He thought he was hilarious and had some reasoning as to why he was NOT going to draw his dad in his picture! I may have been trying to spank his bottom in his picture for making a mess...but at least I got in the picture!

Joey walked up to me and said, "I'm obnoxious mom I'm obnoxious!" I said, "yes you are very obnoxious!" Which he totally has been these last few weeks! He has been in my face being silly and border line annoying! I thought obnoxious was most fitting word for him and apparently I have been telling him that alot lately! Enough for him to tell his teacher at school! Oooops!

Gum has been a HUGE no no in our home! I have found more wrappers under beds and pillow and more gum stuck on sheets and hair in the last few months than ever before! I cracked down and everybody is grounded from GUM! Well, the other day Joey was sitting on my lap and I was combing his hair with my fingers. I came across some gum in his hair. I said, "Joey did you sneak into the gum?" "NO I DIDN'T" I pulled a little on the gum that was in his hair and said, "Um, you got it in your hair." He replied with a very disgusted "NO, it just grewed there genius!"

I had a super busy day with maybe 2 minutes to spare in between a day FULL of errands! I sent the kids out and told them to get in the car..."DO NOT PLAY IN THE SNOW...DO NOT WALK IN THE SNOW...DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT TOUCHING THE SNOW...JUST GET IN THE CAR AND GET YOUR BUCKLES ON!" I ran up to grab my purse and walk out to 6 little kids playing in the snow! "I told you little *&$#'s to get in the car." I am pretty sure this is the very first time my kids have heard me swear at them. I am not proud of my actions the day but a little relieved when Dexter said, "No mom you're a shiP head!" BREATH...I think I got out of that one! It was dinner and the kids told David, "mom called us a ship head today." I just kinda looked at David, smiled and said they deserved it! The kids started laughing and repeating ship head...ship head! David said, "how about we say BOAT heads that's more funny!" So if you hear them call you a BOAT head...that is not what they mean at all!

Toby is very much into pretending! One day he was WOODY from toy story. He wore his cowboy hat and boots all day and repeated some of the lines in Toy Story! If I addressed him as TOBY, he would say, "no I'm Woody." Towards the end of the day, he would completely ignore me until I called him Woody! The next day he was back to being a baby gorilla!

I was dropping the kids off to school and Mac yelled out the window, "bye doofuss face!" to the kids as they were walking up to school! I am sure all the parents appreciate my kids commentary!

I am really starting to see myself in my kids' personalities! Some good...and some not so good! Toby was getting his buckle on and talking to himself. He was getting frustrated and said, "what the hell, this buckle isn't coming on." I was laughing under my breath but managed to muster out that he shouldn't say that and its kind of a mom word! Dexter piped up and said, "ya, what the hell is a mom aaaaand a DAD word!" So glad I am not getting all the blame on that one!

Dexter somehow learned air quotes! You know how when you are being sarcastic and you put up your two fingers to quote something! The first time we were walking the Mall as Washington DC. They kids were tired and Dexter said, "When are we going to the 'airquote....HOTEL...endairquote' mom" His fingers bend at the bottom joint, so it looked super funny! David and I both laughed and I said, "did he seriously just air quote us?" He's a funny kid!

There has been some serious issues with sneaking and eating after I put the kids to bed! I thought that I had it under control until I found a few unwrapped pop-tarts under his pillow that night as I was putting him to bed. "Seriously Dexter...you have got to stop getting into the food. It is dangerous to be eat while you lay down. You know, I have had it, you are grounded from watching crocodiles for the rest of the week." He said, "that's okay mom cause Crocodiles are 'airquote....LAME...endairquote!" He got the word LAME from his dad and how do I not laugh at that? Watching Crocodiles is like Christmas morning to that kid! So even though I got the airquotes and lame...I knew it was a great punishment...if only I could have remembered it through the week!

I was getting ready for a night out with my friend Jen! Tia came up to my bathroom whimpering about her hurt arm that she had fallen on. Our conversation continued about why I was getting ready, where I was going, and when I was going to be home! I told her that I would be home in the morning. She looked a little lost in thought and then she asked "well who is going to do my hair in the morning?" I told her that I was getting home late that night while she was sleeping, but I would be here in the morning when she woke up. She still just looked sad. I was thinking that she really loves me and she is sad that I was leaving so I asked her, "Are you so sad that mom is leaving for the evening?" She replied with "No, my arm just really hurts!" Ugh...I thought I would be missed! Guess I was wrong! :)

We were in the car driving and David rolled Toby's window up. Toby started screaming "baje...baje...baje" David started laughing and said, that is roll down in Spanish! I guess he wanted him to roll down his window...and apparently Diego has been on a little too much at the Bryce home!

I finally have a child that will go away if I ignore them for a few questions! My kids have always REPEATED themselves a million times when they haven't gotten a response or even if they have...they still repeat themselves! Dexter just walked up and asked for a cookie, I was in the middle of emailing somebody and had to finish typing my thoughts so I ignored him...He asked three times and with no answer said, "FINE I'M done!" And then he walked out! It might have been the most beautiful moment of my day so far! Maybe he is finally getting it, or maybe he is getting himself a cooking knowing that I am preoccupied with something else and he had time to sneak and eat! I will go with the second choice!

I am not the funnest mom when it comes to breaking out the crayons and markers. If fact with the latest art work that has been displayed on my walls, doors, car (outside and inside) counters and carpet might have led to a little tantrum that I threw and tossed ALL coloring devices in the garbage and wrote notes to all their teachers that "due to extreme circumstances in the Bryce home my kids will NOT be able to turn in complete homework if it calls for coloring." And it wasn't just Toby that colored on my walls, doors, carpet, car (inside and out) counters and carpet...it was Mason, Tia, Joey, Dexter, and Mac. Some were just little lines to see if it wrote on a counter, and some were names in Pen! Those were my favorite because when it said D E X X X E T E E R R D X X, I automatically assumed it was DEXTER! I loved confronting him with this and his face while he tried to Lie and say, "It wasn't me mom!" Which it totally was and finally after I said, "YOU SPELLED YOUR NAME...I KNOW IT WAS YOU!" I got an "OKAY IT WAS!" UGH! Well, slowly but surely the crayons and pencils got repurchased.

Mac has been my little artists lately and loves to color. He often asks, "Hey mom can I color you something beautiful?" How can I say no to "something beautiful?" Well, the other day I commented on his work, "MAC that is something beautiful, who is that person?" He scowled at me and said, "its not a person, its a SUN with some Ting in it!" Well in my defense it was a circle with two circles in it (head with two eyes) and long lines coming out from the side and the bottom (arms and legs) and short lines on top (hair) BUT what do I know? I'm just the mom!

I'm not exactly sure what planet Joey is from somedays! If I ask him to do anything he says, "Yes YOUR MAJESTY!" Then if I get after him he always replies with "OKAY YOUR HIGHNESS!" Really it makes me laugh every time! It has been going on for several months. I have no idea where he got it from...but it has really gotten him out of trouble lately...only because can't not laugh! Funny kid!

It was way past bedtime. All the kids were in bed or so I thought! I popped some popcorn and couldn't wait to settle down and watch a little TV. David walked in with my half empty bag of popcorn and said, "Toby had this in his bed." I totally didn't even hear him get into the kitchen. David then goes on to tell me how he was walking downstairs to get some ice as Dexter was crawling up the steps of his bedroom. Dexter almost jumped out of his skin when David said, "Dexter what are you doing?" Dexter looked back and forth trying to come up with something and finally said, "dad, Toby has the bag of popcorn!" I guess there were two little boys up in the kitchen sneaking goodies. I wonder if I turned my ears off, or if they have gotten so good at sneaking around at night!

I guess I have been telling the kids they are bugging the crap out of me alot lately. I know I am a terrible mother but I didn't really know this until I was digging around in the fridge and Dexter kept asking me a question over and over and over again. I let a big sigh out and he said, "am I bugging the crap out of you?" I almost started to laugh and said, "YES!" He let out this big laugh and said, "no you're bugging the crap out of me!"

Dexter when out with David for a little ice-cream and a visit to Dad's work. They were walking down the halls of the hospital and passed a Gurney. Dexter who only has one volume and its LOUD said, "HEY DAD ARE THOSE FOR THE DEAD PEOPLE?" David just laughed and said lets hope not!

Every morning it is free reign on hairdos for the boys...almost! Joey usually comes in with a little comb over, Mac loves to slick his straight up and Mason loves to do "ho-mocks" Or what normal people would call Mo-hawks! I have corrected him a million times, but he still says ho-mock! Just as soon as the "ho-mock" gets long...his hair gets cut! Call me old fashion but I'm not really a

"ho-mock" fan!

Mason and David went to run some errands. David let him pick out a Kit Kat bar as a treat! He ate two, gave one to David and was saving one for "his mom." David told him how sweet it was that he was saving one for mom, but it was melting and he should go ahead and eat it. I'm sure he didn't hesitate to much. He got home and told me he had a "kitkacks, but Dad told me I could eat yours!" I got the full story from David...what a sweet little boy!

There is no secret that I try to be thrifty! My favorite store is the goodwil. I often find my kids new jeans with tags still on them for $2.50...and I also buy all their shoes there! I don't dare buy new shoes that they will grow out of the next month! I bought Joey and Dexter a nice pair of sneakers. Joey's were in a little more mint condition than Dexter's, but Dexter's were "super fast running shoes." Dexter is really hard on shoes and Joey, a little lighter. Dexter's shoes started to show some hard wear and tear! I started noticing Dexter switching shoes with Joey. Finally I said, "Dexter go get your own shoes on and give Joey's back to him." Dexter's feet were a little bit bigger than the shoe, but somehow he managed to squeeze all 9 toes in...ha ha, just kidding he has 10! He argued that Joey let him have his shoes...I argued that they didn't fit him...he argued that his shoes were too old...and I played it off that they were is super fast running shoes! My poor little Dexter was ashamed of his shoes! I don't want my kids to be spoiled brats, but I don't want them to be so embarrassed of their shoes that they squeeze into a smaller pair just to avoid wearing old shoes! A couple of trips later I landed a 13.5 size shoe...with Velcro straps...and pretty new. I called David and told him to tell Dexter I had a super big surprise for him when I got home. Dexter got so excited and said, "Maybe my mom is buying a hot wheels car, or a remote control monster truck, or a motorcycle for me!" David thought he was going to be so disappointed with shoes! BUT, I opened the bag and got them out and with eyes wide open he said, "MOM THOSE ARE FOR ME???? YIPPEE!!" It was cute!

I was helping all the kids with their homework. I have to admit there is a little yelling involved. But it is usually directed at Toby for CUTTING Joey's homework, or COLORING all over Tia's...the list goes on. Well tonight he was MIA (I'm sure I'll find his handy work later tonight) and it was quiet. I was going through numbers with Dexter and Mason said, "wow mom you are really good at kindergarten!" I'm going to have to say...IT'S TRUE...I AM!

I was babysitting my friends kids the other day. I think it was the first time they had been to my house. It was cold outside so all 9 kids were playing inside. The oldest is Mason's age. He was peeking out the window in awe of the Tree House. Mason was so funny saying, "my dad built it...its so fun!" His friend kept repeating, "I just don't know if I can go up there." Mason gave him a confused look and said, "Why are you allergic or something?" You never know...he could be!

I asked Dexter and Mason to change the laundry around...this consists of them emptying the dry ones and putting them on the couch and then putting the wet ones in the dryer and starting it! Mason came in to inform me that Dexter was climbing in the dryer. He heard my voice as I was about to enter and he hid himself inside the dryer. As fast as I could I closed the dryer door and pushed the start button! Now, you may think I'm a terrible mom...I sorta am, but I didn't let the dryer even do a full Spin...not even sure if it made a half spin. Dexter was screaming...as I was laughing! I pushed the button again, just to make sure my point got across! I opened the door and he flew out, still screaming. As he was running past me I told him if he ever played in my clean clothes again, I wasn't going to be so nice and let him out so soon! He might be so traumatized of this experience to ever help me change the laundry around again!

Mac came running in telling me that Dexter hit him. I yelled for Dexter to come here "this instant!" Dexter saunters in and I told him to sit on the white couch for time out. He rolled his eyes and softly said, "whatever...." "WHAT DID YOU SAY?" "uhhh nothing..." "YES YOU DID...what did you say?" "Uhhh, I think I forgot." "You better watch your mouth mister!" He just raised his eyebrows and tried really hard not to let a smile leak! I think I might be losing control of this one!

We were on our way to a little pampered chef party! I was told to come even if I had my kids! So, I brought the 5 that were home. It was lunch time and I told the kids they were going to have bagel bites there for lunch. Tia somewhat disappointed said, "they are gonna take bites out of our bagels?" I thought how sad it is that I have deprived them of bagel bites...thinking they were mini bagels with cream cheese. Then we got there and bagel bites are actually mini pizzas on bagels. I guess we are ALL deprived here at the Bryce home! :)

As I was sitting at my computer when a rubber ball came flying past my face and hit the screen. I calmly grab the scissors which happened to be within hands reach and popped it! "I said no throwing balls in the house." I toss the slowly deflating ball over my shoulder and Dexter said, "That was cool, you just popped it mom." Not exactly the response that I was expecting to get!

This last week David has been burning off our home videos and we have been enjoying watching these together at night before bed! But our newest favorite show is re-runs of The Crocodile Hunter! It really is a fun show to watch with kids! I had Toby curled up on my lap and Mac by my side and we were watching an episode of all sorts of BABY ANIMALS! There was this baby gorilla that a woman was rocking and feeding with a bottle! I squeezed Toby and said, "look Toby that was you when you were a baby!" He watched intently and let a little smile sneak out here and there. When the baby gorilla was done with his bottle he had milk all over his face. Toby looked up at me and said, "I'n silly with da milk on my face, I make a big mess huh mom!" He really thought he was a baby gorilla! I kept hearing this other voice say, "is that me...hey mom is that me when I was a baby!" It was Mac and I didn't know what he was talking about! Then it hit me...and there was a baby orangatang swinging from the trees. I said, "Yes, Mac there you are when you were a baby swinging from those trees!" He was satisfied with that! The rest of the week they kept asking to watch them when they were babies! Toby would say, "remember mom when I was a baby gorilla and I got milk all over my face.....dat funny, huh mom!"

I thought it died down...but today we went to the Philadelphia Zoo and there at the Gorillas Toby was pointing and saying, "There is a Toby Gorilla mom...look its a Toby Gorilla like me! I am pretty sure he thinks he was a gorilla when he was a baby! I wonder where he got that from! :)

Dexter lost his first tooth and he was so excited! I asked him how much he thought he was going to get from the tooth fairy. With his eyes so big he squealed, "7 bucks!" Thank goodness he has no concept of money...cause he might be lucky to get 1 buck!

I was putting some things away and Toby kept begging me for some cookies! I told him time and time again..."NO" He whimpered and whined a bit and said, "PLEASE MOM, I BE YOUR BEST BUDDY!"

Toby walked in and asked, "what are you doing mom?" "I am making you some yummy lunch!" He got so excited and said, "you da best mom...high five!" He swings his hand out and waits for my 'high five'

Joey came running in crying saying, "Mac hit me, mom, Mac hit me!" Mac wasn't too far behind him saying, "Joey I'n sorry, you can hit me back...here Joey hit me back!" Joey takes a ferocious swing (for Joey) and Mac starts to giggle and said, "that tickles Joey that tickles!"

I will type this since I know my kids don't read these stories yet...oh the counseling that they will need when they do! We decided on bike for the kids for Christmas. I had a friend move that gave me a couple of old bikes! I was going to dress them up with a little spray paint and call it good, but then I was too slow at putting them into hiding and the kids saw them in the back of the car! I knew I couldn't give them as Christmas gifts now and told the kids they could get them out and ride them! I have to admit they were a little used and possible a little rusty! But they go through them so fast...it didn't bother me!

David was out with the kids riding bikes and asked Dexter where he got his new bike. He had one hand on the front bars, leans back, takes a good look up and down the bike, takes a deep breath in and a little ashamed said, "I think my mom got it at the Junkyard." Tia came riding by at the time and said, "ya it looks like mom got it at the junkyard!"

I'm so glad we didn't hold those back from Santa, they might have been a little disappointed on Christmas Morning!

A couple days later we were on our way to a NJ beach! We passed a yard sale that had these super rad snow sleds. David pulled around and distracted the kids while I purchased, bagged and put them in the car. David was telling the kids to close their eyes because we were somewhere special! Tia smirked and said, "Dad I know where we are at....we're at the JUNKYARD! Funny kids!

Toby waltz in as I was making PB&J. I sarcastically greeted him with, "there's my ugly baby!" He scoffed at me and said, "I'n not an ugee baby, I'n a sweet ANGEL!" I just started laughing! He has been very rotten lately and by the time David gets home and has had the earful on the phone he greets Toby with, "Well hello there my sweet angel!" I think Toby really thinks he is a sweet angel!

Toby has a new Guitar sweater that he loves! He says the word Guitar just fine or so I thought! I heard Mac telling him that he was saying it wrong, "No Toby, it goes like kkkkk GUITAR!" Toby was a little reluctant to his teacher and said, "No Mac, it goes like bbbbb GUITAR!" They argued back and forth for several minutes! Both finally gave up and moved onto whatever 'mater truck' was passing!

I was making grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner one night and Toby walked in and said, "mom I'n so hungie!" "Awesome Toby, cause I'm making some GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICHES." He sat down and started to sob, "I want BOY CHEESE, not GIRL CHEESE!" He was so 'hungie' that he couldn't even think or HEAR straight!

We were at the zoo and ready to go into a small room to see an animal. The zoo lady was there asking people to make sure they don't take their picture because the light hurts their eyes. (Can't remember what animal this was) The kids pointed to the picture and asked, "why does it have long fingers?" She told them that it was so they could reach into logs and get bugs to eat. I said, "ooooh, yummy bugs, you guys like to eat bugs don't you?" Mason (my loudest at the time) said, "I like to eat bugs...and leaves and grass too, its so yummy." The zoo lady just kinda looked at him...then me! I turned to the side, shrugged my shoulders and said, "he's adopted!"

Dexter was eating one of those dinner mints when he said, "hey mom, this taste like Chalk." "When did you eat chalk?" "The other day I ate some because I was super hungry." Poor starving child that has to eat chalk to keep himself alive!

Tia had a birthday party at Chick-fil-A. We were all in the car ready to when she said, "Guys we are going to my friends birthday party at chickalay, you know where the cow is?"

I was wearing a looser shirt and bent over to grab something. Toby was right in front of me and in a very quiet giggly voice said, "I see yo boobies mom!" "No you don't!" as I push my shirt back up. He just sat there for a second and with the biggest smile said, "I like boobies...." and started laughing so hard. I can't wait until he is 16 years old and reads this...he will be mortified! :)

Bedtime goes either one way or the other! Well this particular night was the OTHER! I put kids down and soon one by one they needed to use the bathroom again. About 30 minutes passed and Mac said, "mom I need to get some more drip drops out." "FINE GO TO THE BATHROOM AND GET BACK IN BED AND I'M GOING TO SPANK YOUR BOTTOM WHEN I GET UP!" I was sitting in my chair in my room at the time! About 30 minutes later I hear, "I'm waiting..." "WHAT MAC?" "I'm waiting for you to come and spank my bottom." David and I just started laughing and he said, "what is wrong with that kid?" Apparently my kids are used to me following through and obviously my spank need a little sting so they won't remind me to get up and spank them in the middle of my show!

We were driving back from dropping off the kids at school when I sneezed a few sneezes! In a wondering voice Dexter said, "mom are you going to die?" I started laughing and said, "I sure hope not, that would be so sad." Mac couldn't resist and input and said, "I will not be sad if you die." "yes, you would be so sad, who would cook your food for you?" "Dad can cook." "Well who would wash your clothes when they got dirty?" Dexter answered this one with, "Tia can wash our clothes." I felt like I was losing the battle of "being sad if mom died!" Mac had one last jab, "dad could be our mom and our dad and I wouldn't be sad!" I just laughed and said, "I would love to see that happen!"

We have this clear container with a lid filled with CANDY that we call "good choice awards." I take little opportunities to point out when the kids are making good choices and give them a treat! The other day it was a rough day for Dexter. All the kids were sitting on the couch and we were talking about all the "good choices" they have been making today! I came to Dexter and told him that I couldn't think of any good choices that he made that day...ANY! I asked all the kids if they could think of a "good choice" that they saw Dexter make. Tia said, "he broke the vacuum." "Why yes he did...but lets think of a good choice that he made. Mason piped in, "he broke Dad's flashlight." "Yes, he did...but help me think of something GOOOOOD that he did." Joey piped in..."he he he hit me really hard in the back." "GOOD CHOICES KIDS...WE ARE LOOKING FOR GOOD CHOICES THAT DEXTER MADE!" Mac said with Toby repeating him, " he colored on his hands and he didn't take a nap." I was laughing at this point because I honestly couldn't think of ANYTHING good. Normally I don't go out of my way to find something good to reward, but I felt Dexter needed a little loving attention with all the negative attention he brought upon himself that day. David asked him to pick up the papers off the floor and put them in the garbage. He jumped at the chance and FINALLY made a good choice and got a piece of candy! Wow, that was painful!

We were at Walmart flat screen shopping with our kids. We finally decided on one and I sent for help while David waited with the kids. The only associate that was in site was 4 feet tall. He was very pleasant and followed me over to where David was waiting. David gave me this look of what the heck are you thinking. I walked a couple steps in front of him and tossed the kids in one cart and tried without too much giggling and pointing from the kids, managed to get them out of site before all the comments came flowing out! We rounded the corner Mason said, "Mom hes so tiny he's like this big!" as he measures up to his shoulder. Dexter said, "mom...why he soooo short?" Joey's, "he like a tiny baby mom." Mac, "what happened to his arms?" I explained how some people are made just a little different but inside we are all the same and we don't need to point or giggle because that might make them sad! Boy oh boy am I so glad I picked up on the look from David to disappear with our kids!

I took the kids to the park and Joey asked me for a treat. I told him playing at the park was his treat. He scoffed at me and said, "but we didn't eat it!"

Toby was picking a scab on my arm and I said "OWWWE!!" He shushed me and said, "be brave mom, be brave!"

I overheard Mac's intense conversation with my Friend Leanne. He was telling her that he went to New York City. Leanne told him that she had been to New York City to. Mac proceeded to interrogate her. "Did you go on a big boat?" "I did." "Did you go on a train under the ground?" "I did." "Did you see the Statue of Liberty?" "I have seen the Statue of Liberty." "Did you go to the time square and see the lights." "I did." At this point he was a little confused and said, "BUT I DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE!" Leanne started laughing and said, "it would have been a pretty small world if you saw me there!" He is a funny kid!

Our neighbor Hannah that lives across the street was born in China and raised in Malaysia until she was 22. She is now 65ish and hasn't missed a beat! She babysits once in a while for us and loves for the kids and I to go on walks with her and her dog Jasmine! She came over the other day while the kids were outside riding bikes and asked if Tia could go on a walk with her. Dexter was closest and started to ask if he could go. I told him no, just Tia was going to go. He started to whine and asked, "Why does Tia always get to go with Hannah?" I told him in a voice that Hannah could hear, "Because Hannah is racist and only like Chinese girls!" Her back was turned from me and I have never seen her shoulders shake so hard with laughter! It was pretty funny and a little true! Or maybe she just feels bad that Tia is surrounded by all these boys!

Tia has been so confused these last few weeks...or maybe she doesn't know! She came in telling me about her "cankachew" "A WHAT?" "My cankachew right here in my mouth!" I'm pretty sure she meant a canker sore, but who knows!

She also was telling me how her wrist hurt which was her waist...and then her ankle hurt and it was her shin. Bless her heart!

The kids were taping sticks when Tia came in with an empty roll of tape and said, "mom the army tape ran out of batteries!"

We were sitting down to dinner when out of the blue Dexter announced, "hey mom, I have a girlfriend." My eyes got big and said, "Oh really, what is her name?" He got this funny look on his face and said, "I don't know her name, but she has a rainbow shirt on today." It wasn't until the teasing from his other siblings started that he knew what a mistake it was admitting he liked a girl! Funny boy!

Joey came in crying, "Dextah hit me...Dextah hit me!" I called Dexter in the room and started lecturing him. He interrupted me in mid sentence and said, "mom can I just let him hit me back and call it even." I have to admit I was a little caught off guard. Then I started laughing, rolled my eyes and said, "Yes, go ahead Joey, hit Dexter back!" I am such a good mom!

David was painting some picture frames black when Toby runs by, lifts his shirt up and said, "Hey dad you painting those black like my tummy!" and proceeds to rub his belly!

We were at the Air Museum in Dayton Ohio, and just as we were about to enter the plane exhibit I stopped at the desk to have a very very very old man explain all the rules to the kids. Joey gets kinda close and says, "You gonna die and be like Mr. Bones?" I thought I was going to pee my pants! The old man didn't understand what he said, so I repeated it and then explained that Mr. Bones is our Skeleton at home. He had a good laugh and said, "I guess I'll have to add that to my book!" Sure glad for his sense of humor!

I was telling the boys to lay down and take a nap, just as I was closing the door Dexter said, "Good night Snookums!" I am not exactly sure where he got snookums from?

David handed Dexter a piece of garbage to put in his pocket. Dexter replied with, "Dad my pockets aren't for garbage they are for toys, duh."

We were on the Ferry Boat and Toby was acting really naughty. I picked him up and asked him is he wanted me to throw him over board. Mason got really excited and said, "I dare you mom, I DARE YOU!"

Toby came running into my room, slammed the door behind him and locked it just as fast as he could. I soon hear Dexter banging on the door. "Toby, let your brother in." In almost a screech he said, "BUT I DON'T LIKE HIM!" Brotherly love!

It had been a rough day already....Toby is lucky to be alive, that's all I have to say! I turned them over to David to put to bed. Well, while David was on his computer doing "super important stuff" a little monkey was making a mess!

Mac came sauntering and said, "Mom, somebody got into the Baby Sugar Powder all over the bathroom." I had him repeat it a couple of times, just because it sounded funny. I was thinking it could be either powdered sugar or baby powder. I asked David to investigate, since he was the one on duty. "I swear, he asked to go to the bathroom and was only gone for 2 minutes." David started the interrogation in the hall and I really didn't want to get out of bed, so I asked them to all come into my room. ALL 6 KIDS denied having anything to do with BABY POWDER! I smelled all their hands (which is a very daring move, but they did just have baths a couple hours prior!) Toby smelled so yummy! "Toby, did you get into the baby power?" "NO, I didn't" "But you smell so yummy, just like baby powder!" "I didn't mom......(long pause).....I sink it was a bird." "I think it was you." "IT WAS A BIRD DAT DID IT!"

I popped open a tube of biscuits for the kids dinner just as the door bell rang for a meeting with the RS President. I shushed the kids and sent them outside and told them I would bake them when she left. An hour later I was getting back to the Tube of biscuits and noticed some fingers had been digging around in it. I called the kids in and asked them who ate the dough. I totally knew who it was just from the looks on their faces. Mason and Toby admitted really fast....But Dexter said, "I DIDN'T EAT IT MOM." "Dexter you aren't in trouble, I just need to know who did it." "So, I'm not gonna get into trouble?" "No, I just need to know." He sheepishly said, "Okay, I ate some, but so did Toby and Mason." "Thanks for telling me the truth...and you don't get a biscuit with honey on it because NOW there isn't enough for everybody." He gave me the most surprised look and said, "I change my mind, I didn't eat it, I DIDN'T EAT IT!" "Too late suckah!"

Later that night after baths, I was doing laundry and found a roll of dough in Dexter's shorts pocket! Maybe he was telling the truth that he didn't eat it! :) I'm gonna guess he ate some, then stashed the rest for a later treat!

It was dinner time and for some blessed reason, we sent the kids out to eat outside and the adults inside at the table. There were a couple times we had to bang on the window to let them know that we are watching them. Mac wonders in whining and David said, "Oh, here comes the gnashing of teeth." Mac switched to this angry face and said, "No Dad, you're nasty to eat!"

We were picking blueberries today and the kids were running back and forth from bush to bush! Tia gets to one and said, "Look mom this one is just my age!"

I was getting ready for church when Tia was knocking at my door saying, "mom?? Mom??" "What Tia?" "Joey kicked me in the nuts!" Both David and I heard her and busted up laughing! David opened the door, brought her into my bathroom and said, "Tia you and mom need to have a little talk." and closed the door! Where do I begin???

Mason is so excited to grow up. He FINALLY turned 7 and the next day he said, "Now when am I going to be 8 so I can be baptized?" I just rolled my eyes and asked him if we could enjoy being 7 for right now. Pretty soon I hear him inviting everybody to his baptism when he turns 8! I guess he was done enjoying 7!

I was handing out some treats one day and Mac came up got his and said, "Sanks Mom!" Joey turns to him and in a real sarcastic voice repeats his "Sanks mom...you not a berry good talkah MaaaaaaC!" "Yes I am, you don't know what a berry good talker you are not." There were plenty of times I could have butted in and corrected them, but I didn't I just listened to their banter!

I was giving Dexter a haircut and Joey (in his own little world) came strolling by and said, "Lookin good Dexta...looking good!"

There is a sensitive subject that I am sure mothers don't love to talk about...but we all deal with it! I am constantly telling my kids, "Stop touching your bottom...that's gross...wash your hands!" Mac was walking towards me singing a twang of, "dangle dangle dangle" with his had flinging back and forth down there. "MAC stop touching your willy." "I wasn't." "Ummmm I saw you." "No I wasn't it was my pretend Guitar." While I was holding back laughter in order to lecture, David was right behind me busting a gut! "Your willy is not a pretend guitar, HANDS OFF!"

I was running to the store to grab some paper plates and paper cups. Tia asked to go and I said, "yes just grab your shoes." THEN everybody wanted to come and I said, "No, just Tia." Mac started wining and asked, "why Tia gets to go?" My answer was, "because I love Tia." The front door closed and opened again with Mac sticking his head out yelling, "I LOVE YOU MOM!" He sure showed me!

We were getting out of the car and the wind picked up just the tiniest bit and Toby runs and reaches for my hand saying, "I'n gonna blow away...I'n gonna blow away...hold me mom." So dramatic!

We were all knelt down for prayers before the kids went to bed and Dexter, whom doesn't offer to do much of anything that brings attention to himself wanted to say the prayer. He started the prayer and blessed everyone by name...except Joey and Toby, just as he was closing Joey opens his eyes and says, "you forgot me, you forgot to bless me." and after we all said Amen, Toby starts sobbing and said, "Dexter borgot to bless me." We had another real quick prayer and blessed the two that got left out and life was good again!

Tia was sitting by my mom eating Hawaiian haystacks. My mom said, "Oh how cute our little rice eater eating rice." Tia smiled and kept on eating. When she cleared her plate she said, "Look grandma I ate all my rice because I'm a Mexican." I try...I promise I do!

Dexter and Mac were catching frogs in Pa and Grandmas yard. When it was time to back to Grandma Mullenaux's Dexter was begging to take home a frog for a pet. Pa told him to "leave it here and he could play with them tomorrow." We came home empty handed or so I thought. I put the kids to bed and the next morning I was folding up their blankets that they slept on and found a frog smooshed between the blankets. Looks like one came home in Dexter's pocket and he accidentally rolled over it in his sleep! Boys are gross!

David was making the bacon for our BLT dinner. The kids on the other hand were having blueberry and pecan pancakes with whip cream. It isn't very often that we do two separate meals, but this was a special occasion, we had our first couple of Tomatoes out of our garden...and they looked way too tasty to split up between 8! Mac was at my feet STARVING...begging for some bacon. I finally said, "Fine Mac you can have the burned pieces." (Remember David cooked it) It was pretty much charcoal. His reply was, "I like burned bacon." He starts to crunch away with a few Mmmmm, in between. Then he says, "I sink I don't want anymore bacon!"

Joey was teasing me and tried to get past me to go down the stairs. When I tried to grab him, he took a tumble down the stairs and hit his head pretty good. I kept him up about and hour past the other kids just to make sure he was okay. I put him to bed and about 30 minutes later we heard him whimpering. David went to go check on him and Joey was sitting on Masons bed throwing up...ALL OVER MASON! Poor kid was asleep and didn't know what hit him! David took him to the ER to make sure it was nothing more that a concussion. 3 hours later and a couple more vomits and he was home safe and sound. Mason is always good to take one for the team...but only when he's asleep.

We were in the car and the kids were singing to the radio. It happened to be the Katy Perry song, California girls. Apparently Mac was listening very intently to the part that says, daisy dukes, bikinis on top when he yelled from the back seat, "Hey Dad we have zucchini in our garden."

We were at the lake swimming and Dexter finally made it into the water! He jumped off and I caught him. I pushed him back over to the ladder and noticed there was alot of padding on his backside. I pulled his swimsuit back a little and noticed 3 pairs of underwear. I asked him, "Dexter why do you have underwear on and so many pairs?" His reply was, "so no bugs can get in my shorts!" I guess you can never be to prepared!

We went fishing with some friends today and while we were loading up the car Mason told Taylor to show him his muscles. Taylor flexes and Mason said, "My dad's are bigger." Not too worried about hurting anybodies feelings are ya Mason?

We have a dehumidifier in the older boys room that runs through the day, until Dexter turns it off. David was putting the older boys down for bed and turned it back on, Dexter looks at him with the most disgusting look and says, "Dad, it's off for a reason." I am pretty sure it got that "for a reason" from his dad! David had to laugh and didn't dare argue with "the reason!"

We were sitting watching the fireworks with our new friends the Smiths. Taylor (David's new BFF) Stacia (My new BFF) and their three little boys Tayton (5) Madden (2.5) and Dawson (10 months) My kids aren't the greatest with names and have nicknamed Tayton, Potato which was soon turned into Tater! Anyways, we were sitting on the grass waiting for the fireworks to start and Mac got close to Stacia and said, "Station, Gas Station, can I have another cupcake!" Stacia could not stop laughing that he thought her name was Gas Station!

It was a little past 8 in the morning and I was laying in bed...listening to my kids morning chatter until Mac comes running in, "MOM, TOBY HAS POOP IN HIS UNDERWEAR!" Dexter adds"YA HE DOES...EWWW, DISGUSTING!" Toby is running behind them yelling, "NO IT NOT...IT KIDMARKS...IT KIDMARKS!!" Nothing gets you out of bed faster than the "kidmark"alarm!

Toby is potty trained and it only took a couple of days...however, we or should I say my shower curtain and walls have leaned there is a little problem with his aim! Now, we thought that his little pee hole was just in the wrong location, because no matter if you pushed it down to pee, the pee went straight up and if you didn't touch it, it hit the toilet TANK. There were a couple of mornings that I just held my hand over the spray to keep it in the toilet. Nothing like washing my hands in warm pee! Gross I know! We made an appointment with the Urologist and it looks like his pee hole is just too little. There is a medical name for it...but my explanations sums it up pretty good! Anyway, when he got back from the Dr. he came right in and said, "Mom I went to da dotor and he bix my willy, see (he pulls it out for showing) all bixed!" "Wow Toby you must have been so brave, but you shouldn't show anybody your fixed willy okay." "Otay mom...I so brave and now my willy bixed." He was so serious! Of course it isn't fixed, but it will be come this Friday...and my bathroom won't smell like urine!

David took the kids to McDonald's for lunch on day. The kids were all sitting down eating when Dexter said, "watch dad..." and stuck the hole ketchup cup in his mouth, sucked it dry and spit the chewed up paper out in a matter of seconds! Talk about talent!

We were taking a Sunday drive and the kids started talking about missions. Mason asked David if he was a missionary. David filled him in, "yes, dad was a missionary in Oregon." Dexter asked, "what is Oregon?" Tia was so annoyed at this questions and had the answer of, "you know Dexter, its those things with pipes and people sing."

Tia got home from school saying she needed a dollar for her friend Katie. "What? Who is Katie and why do you need a dollar for her?" "She is a girl that her house fell down and broke and she doesn't have a house anymore." I was looking at David and he just shrugged. I was thinking maybe it was a girl in their school that had a house fire or something and Tia was very excited to help her friend. Joey comes up asking for a dollar as well. After some digging from the both of them David blurted out...HAITI! "Do you mean Haiti?" It was right after the earthquake and their school was doing a fund raiser to send money to the kids in Haiti...and I am sure there is a little girl name Katie there as well!

I was painting the hallway while the kids played outside in the back yard. Dexter come in huffing and puffing about something throwing mud at him. I continue to paint and half listen to his complaints. "Mom something thew mud at me and it got on my shirt." "Really...what do you think it was?" "I don't know, but it thew mud at me..." Still painting at this point, "what would throw mud on you?" He shrugs his shoulders and said, "I don't know...(long pause)...a squirrel." "Are you kidding me? A squirrel threw mud at you?" "Ya it did" At this point I look up to see his face and notice a nice streak of white and black mud that the squirrel threw at him. I started laughing and said, "it wasn't a squirrel silly...a bird pooped on you!" He didn't want to believe me and was very satisfied with the squirrel scenario, even after his bath and change of clothes! Gotta watch out for those mud throwing squirrels!

I was sitting down to a movie and a massive pile of laundry to fold. The previews were going when Dexter came in, got super excited and said, "mom you watchin appletard?" "What?" "You...you watchin APPLETARD?" Then it clicked "do you mean Avetar?" "Ya, you watching it?" Laughing I said, "Nope...it was just a preview!" Of course that is when all the questions came about previews and why I am not watching "Appletard!"

We were all headed to the Zoo. Dexter was talking about how scared he was of the Turtle Pond(...for an obvious reason...dated back to lions, tigers and bears oh my post) Mac piped in and said to Dexter, "Don't be scared Dexter I will hold your hand."

David was busy getting the boat ready for the season and needed a new filter and the boat store. David took all the kids along for the ride and on the way home asked them what their favorite part of going to the lake was...and the replies were, Mason-driving around on the boat. Tia-swimming in the lake. Joey said fishing. Dexter-doing back flips off the boat. Toby said looking for alligators. And last but not least, Mac-DROWNING! I guess he remembers falling overboard last year!

The kids were put to bed at their normal 8pm Bedtime! I had been feeling a little sick so I took a sleeping pill and went to bed soon after that. I heard a little scuffle around Midnight and David got up to take away the spelling game they were playing with. I woke up again around 3am to some thugs and giggling. I went up stairs to confiscate a football. All 6 kids were sitting up in their beds playing catch. What's wrong with our kids?

Tia and I got to have a little girl time and went shopping and out to eat for lunch while David took the boys shopping for my Mother's Day gifts. When we got home David told me how the morning was, with one trip back to the car because Mac was not listening, then back to the store to finish shopping. He then got everything paid for, that was until he noticed the Zebra print bracelet that was on Toby's wrist just after buckling up his car seat. "Toby what do you have on your arm?" He holds it up with a grin on his face and said, "Its for my Mom's bird-day." He as so proud of his "steal" that David couldn't take it back just then, so he let him wrap it up and give it to me the next morning. Monday we returned it with out Toby as a witness!

Is was Dexter's turn to say the prayer tonight and this is how it went, "Dear Heavenly Father, bless us not to fight, stay in our beds and be quiet, bless us not to poke our brothers with sticks, no playing in the mud, bless us no stealing, no sneaking and no poking eyes. Name of Jesus Christ Amen." Can you tell what I lecture on every day and night? I just never knew anybody listened!

We went out to eat at a Chinese Restaurant. We were all commenting on all the CHINESE decorations, and the CHINESE writing and dropping little hits to Tia, this is where people look like you come from. We all had our plates and were chowing down, Tia with a mouth full of food and more food on her fork says, "This is the BEST MEXICAN food I ever had!" We try, I promise we do!

We were watching some news on TV. They were doing a story on this woman weighs 650 pounds and her goal was to be the heaviest woman in America. Dexter was sitting next to David, he climbs up right next to David and pats him on the shoulder and with amazement he said, "Hey dad, Dad, um hers eats ALLLLL her foods huh." David started laughing and said, "Yes she does and everybody else's around her!

Toby was jumping on the trampoline with a stick when I hollered, "Toby no sticks on the trampoline!" He shot back with, "its not a stick its my GUN!" "ok...no GUNS on the trampoline." He then replied with, "its not a gun its my horse and I gotta ride it!" Me, almost yelling though a laugh, "Whatever it is...get it off the trampoline!" He then hopped off and pretended to ride it in the yard!

Dexter had a little sore on the side of his face that he had been picking at. He was walking by and David asked to see his sore. "Dexter stop picking your scab it is going to scare and your face will be ugly." Dexter was so eager to state his case with, "But I like to eat em, it taste good." We both just started laughing and decided our kids are disgusting.

I was walking through the house looking for one of the kids shoes. I was huffing and puffing about how they need to keep their shoes together....ugh! Tia walks up to me and said, "Mom are you annoyed?" "Yes....very annoyed!" She gives me a satisfied look as if she knew the answer but had to ask the question and then walked off!

I was getting ready to go to the gym for aerobics. I asked Mac if he wanted to put on his shoes or go bare foot. "I will go bare foot." he said. He followed me in to the next room and said, "mom where is my bare foot at?" I then told him that he was wearing his bare feet. He followed me into the next room and said, "Can I wear my bear shoes?"

Toby walked past me and I could smell that he had a poopy diaper. In a dissapointing voice I said, "Toby, did you poop your pants?" He got this defensive tone and said, "not on purpose mamma not on purpose." Whatever...

Dexter just walked in telling me that he has lots and lots of food in his tummy. I asked him what he was going to do about it, he said, "I am going to go potty and get lots and lots of poops out." I told him that sounded like a good idea!

I was loading Toby and Mac into the car, Mac was crying over his hurt foot. I got in the car after buckling them up and Mac in a very sad voice said, "Mom I dust don't dink I'n gonna make it." Whenever my kids are crying over something I say, "I think your gonna make it!" This time I didn't even have to say it!

We were all headed down to the farm for a cookout and pictures with all of David's Family. Mason was riding in front in between both David and I. He was chatting, singing, and snapping his fingers. David looks at me and rolls his eyes, and then asks Mason, "you like Chick's right?" Mason looked back and him and said, "ya I really like them!" "Good Mason, keep it up." A couple seconds passed and Mason said, "I love chick's they are so good to eat, you like chick's dad?" David shakes his head..."wrong kind of chick's Mason!"

The adoptions were final and we decided to do a little celebrating. We took the kids to eat at our favorite restaurant and then we were on our way over to Chuckie Cheese's to play games. Mac was sitting in front and kept touching David's arm while he was driving. I told him that we would not go if he didn't start listening to his dad. He got this real big disgusted look on his face and said, "Mom I'n gonna take you to JAIL." He was very serious too!

I have a real big problem when my kids talk back to me. It doesn't happen very often now, but for some reason they have been a little mouthy the last two weeks. I told them that if they tell me "NO" when I ask them to do something or to stop doing something they will get a yummy spoon full of vinegar. Dexter was the first victim. Oh you should have heard the screams! Mason was the second he swallowed it really fast and said, "ughhhh that is good, taste like Apple Juice" then his eyes started to water and he was begging for a drink. That night Joey asked for something and I told him "NO!" His face was so funny and then he started in on me "ohhhhhh, you gonna get biniger, dat not nice mom, you no day no to me, you get dome biniger right now." I just started laughing!

Mason and Joey had a outpatient procedure this last month. They were not circumcised when they were born and I never really thought that much about it until they started the get infected. So we got them circumcised. I told Mason that we were going to take him to the Dr. to get his "nakeds" cut off. "NOOO NOT MY NAKEDS!" What a way to ease their worries right? David took them to the Dr. and I stayed home with the other kids. That day they were loving sitting on the couch watching movies and being waited on hand and foot! The next day they were up more and moving around. I was in the kitchen cooking dinner and the weather has been really nice so the windows were open. I hear Mason in the family room yelling to our neighbor, "Hey Gary, HEY GARY, I GOT A NEW WILLY!" My mouth dropped, I ran into the family room and Mason and I had a good talk about privacy! We decided not to take them to church that Sunday and let the newness wear off, we didn't want him bearing his testimony on his new willy!

Mason is going to a 3 week summer school program to help with his reading and math. Every morning we drop him off, he always gives me a kiss and says "bye mom love you" then just before he shuts the door he looks at his siblings and says "bye fat babies" then laughs, closes the door and runs into school!

It has been really rainy lately so the kids and I have been enjoying a clean house and some fun movies! One of their favorite movies is Transformers. I was on my computer and wasn't really paying very much attention until Mason asked, "Mom can we say what the hell" "Um no it is a bad word." "But they say in on Transformers." I think it might be time for a little editing of movies!

The kids and I were at the pool. I was sitting on the side and they were jumping in right by me, Toby was a few feet from me playing with his car in the water. He came up to me with this huge smile on his face and said, "I bunny mom...I bunny!" "Oh yes you are so FUNNY!" He was quite proud of something that he did!

Tia, Mason, and Joey were helping me with breakfast and peeling the hard boiled eggs at the kitchen sink. Mason asked, "Mom where do eggs come from?" Before I could answer Tia piped in and said, "from DUCKS silly!"

I walked into the bathroom just as Joey was pulling up his shorts. I am digging through the closet when I hear the toilet flush and Joey say, "Goodbye my friends!" Apparently they were pretty close!

I was cooking dinner when Mason came up to ask if he could change into his basketball shorts. "Sure, go ahead." He comes back down, and after about 2 minutes of chit chat he said, "Mom can I take my shirt off." "What? Why?" "Ummm, because, ummm, so everybody can see my big muscles." (as he lifts his arms, pulls up his sleeves, and flexes) "Ummmm, no, but when we go swimming you can take your shirt off." "Ya, I can show my big muscles when I go swimming!" He's so vain!

Tia runs into the kitchen saying "Mac has bleeds, Mac has bleeds!" David met him in the hallway coming out of our bedroom with red, "blood looking" slobber streaks down his chin, but he wasn't crying. David checked it out and immediately knew what is was. I had bought some egg dying kits for next year and Mac apparently opened them and thought they were candy. He got him all cleaned up and was looking for the other 4 tablets, but they were nowhere to be found. Then he checked his pockets. Sure enough, four colored tablets in his pocket. I am so glad they didn't go through the wash.

David and I were sitting on the couch watching "Penguins of Madagascar" (funniest cartoon ever) when Mac comes down the stairs from their bedroom saying, "Dexter peed in the basket and on the blankets." I just looked at David and said, "Seriously...you better go take care of it." Sure enough, David comes down with a load of blankets, toys, and clothes that got hit in his crossfire. Thanks goodness for a patient dad. He took Dexter up with some cleaner and got to work, no crying, or screaming, just cleaning. After it was all over, I asked him what possesses little boys to do disgusting things. David then told me of a story when he was about 5 years old and had to use the bathroom, but it was full so he ran into his bedrooms closet and peed in it. It happened to be just after his Mom and Aunt Joy painted a farm mural on the wall. He left a sad runny duck for proof. Paybacks are heck!

Toby is going through this stage of pretend. He love to crawl around on all fours, pant, and bark like a puppy. Sometimes I will not notice him at my feet as a puppy and he starts to get a little aggressive and bites my pants or toes if I don't have shoes on. He has also started throwing these little tantrums when things don't go exactly his way. If I want him to do something and he won't all I have to say is "oh Toby be a good puppy and go pick up your toys" and he does. Really, you may not believe me, (David didn't) but it is true. "Toby, knock it off." "SCREEEEAM" "Oh where did my puppy go" "arf....(pant pant)" Its like a light switch. Weirdest thing I have ever seen! I wonder if all my kids have had a code word and we just never figured it out.

Mac has been my talker since we got him at 15 months! When he was just 20 months he was full of sentences that I could understand and that actually made sense, however, he was always a little confused on the "Pleases, Thank-yous and Your Welcomes." When he was given something he asked for I would always say, "what do you say?" In a deep little man voice he would say "wel come!" It was so darn adorable that I never corrected him. One day were were visiting with some family and I noticed he needed his diaper changed. "Mac lets go change your diaper, what do ya say?" He replied in his deep little man voice "welcome" and toddled out of the room with me.

My kids are into asking where things come from. A good mom would be so proud that their kids are interested in how things work. With me...its not the case. I am just glad David is home at dinner time so he can explain where everything comes from. We were having Chinese Food one night and Tia asked where rice comes from. David was quick to reply, "It comes from China where little girls have black shiny hair and look like you." A couple weeks later we were eating Chinese Food again. This time it was Joey who held up the rice and asked where it came from. Tia happily took over to explain, "it comes from where people look like me and have black hair." That girl doesn't forget a thing!

We were playing outside today. Mason has this little kid pitching machine. You put the foam baseballs in, stand back, and swing your bat when the ball shoots out. Toby was playing with the ball for little while until he lost interest and grabbed a big rock and tossed it down the feeder. He then ran about ten feet away. With a big smile, he squatted and covered his ears, as if a rock was going to shoot out and possibly hit him! Of course it didn't and he soon lost interest! What a thinker...I can't imagine what the next few years have in store!

We were on our way back to Grammas house when Mason piped up with "Mom ummmmmm Mom...I sick...I have diarrhea." "Um, no you don't." "Ya huh, I do, listen....." I am halfway closing my eyes, thinking about the mess I am going to have to clean up if he is telling me the truth. Then, he lets out this really exagurated cough. Phewwww! "Mason that is not diarrhea." "Ya huh!" "Whatever!"

I have never had a child that has likes to play with outlets as much as Toby does! I pull him away from them all day long. He tries to put anything and everything in them. I have tried the protectors and he know how to pull them off. I just walked into the family room and he was trying to plug in a charger. I grabbed it away from him, smacked his hand, and told him "no no." I walked out of the room for two seconds, he heard me coming back and jumped and put his hand behind his back (cord in hand) as fast as he could. "Toby, you better not be playing with the plugs." He got this huge smile on his face and with a wave said, "bye bye mama!" He is such a little squirt!

I have decided it is the little things in life that please my kids. My three little preschoolers asked if they could stay home from school today! Even though I had a million and one things to do, I don't ever want to miss out on these chances to hang out with my kiddos. So, I kept them home and told them we were going to run errands. Thanks to Iowa Law, you can leave your kids in the car and not get arrested. I bought some suckers at my first stop to ease the tension of the car seats! After all was done and we were heading back Dexter asked if we could go wash the car. It needed it and I am sure he remembers me saying how bad it needed it. We headed to the car wash. They love to watch the sprayers go around and most of the time can't stop from giggling. After we were done, Dexter in a very sincere tone said, "Thanks mom that was so much fun!" Oh the simple things in life!

I asked Mason to sweep the floor. He is always a good sport to help. He was moving very slow that day so I gave him another errand and asked him to run down stairs to grab some juice. I started sweeping and by the time he got back I was sweeping the last bit of dirt into the dustpan. I was met with a, "WOW MOM! GOOD JOB!" He could not believe what I accomplished while he was gone! Or maybe he was just really excited that I finished it for him!

We were sitting at the dinner table all getting ready to eat. David was getting drinks and handed Tia hers. "Thanks Dad...you are the BEST DAD ever!" David looked at me with a smug smile and said, "that's right Tia, I am the best Dad ever." Tia sat there for a second then replied, "well, some of the days you are the best." I added, with a smile, "that is right Tia, only some of the days."

Today for the first time ever, I made two different things for lunch. Half the kids wanted PB&J and the other half wanted Grilled Cheese....Ya, I know I am an amazing chef. Everyone was happily eating until I noticed Mason holding Toby's cup over his face and blowing his nose in his drink. I hollered, "MASON!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" "Um, Um, Um, blowing my nose." "In Toby's cup?" "Ya." "Do you think that is a good idea? " "Um, I don't know?" I don't think he really saw anything wrong with it. The day went down hill from there...spills at lunch, Toby obviously got more thirsty...I was sending the kids to get their peeps out before their nap and soon I noticed Toby was missing....for like 3 seconds. While Dexter was going potty Toby went right in behind him. He was standing with a little tea cup in hand and was dipping it in the toilet and drinking the water like it was going out of business. Yummy!

"DAVID...don't you back-sass me!" That is a phrase that I use alot. Mostly on David, but sometimes on the kids too! Sunday morning I was getting ready for Church and David was getting the kids' shoes on. Tia whom has been very sassy and very very bossy to the boys lately, was sitting on the couch and told Mason to do something. "No Tia you not da boss of me." "Mason don't you ASS-BACK me, do you hear me?" "You NOT DA BOSS!" "Don't you ass-back to me or I will tell mom." It was really funny that we didn't want to correct her. Then as we were on the way to Church she, again, told Mason not to ass-back her. She doesn't have a very quiet voice during sacrament meeting, so we decided we should probably correct her! Still 3 days later and we have corrected her every time...she still says "ass-back." What do you do?